Thursday, November 1, 2007

Day 2 - Forgiveness

Thank you to all who have responded to the challenge so quickly! I was overwhelmed with the response yesterday. I had no idea this would take off so quickly. Tammy, thank you for finding our idea so fast and linking it to your blog. I was nearly brought to tears as I read the comments of so many who are pushing forward with love. You all inspired me throughout the day and I cannot describe the love and excitement I felt in my heart.

My challenge yesterday was forgiveness. Unfortunately, there are people in the world who are bitter and angry, and some of those people thought it necessary to make comments on this blog. I was shocked by the rude words and misunderstanding of the challenge. Thankfully, I was focused on increasing love and I remembered the example of some who have come before me. I took the viewpoint that these people did not understand what they were doing, and had obviously been hurt at some point by someone. I forgive them for the comments they made, and I am truly sorry if some of you had to read them before they could be deleted.

I was reminded of the response of the Amish people to the gruesome murders of some of their people. A man, whom we respect greatly, and who has recently passed away, related the experience as such:

In the beautiful hills of Pennsylvania, a devout group of Christian people live a simple life without automobiles, electricity, or modern machinery. They work hard and live quiet, peaceful lives separate from the world. Most of their food comes from their own farms. The women sew and knit and weave their clothing, which is modest and plain. They are known as the Amish people.
A 32-year-old milk truck driver lived with his family in their Nickel Mines community. He was not Amish, but his pickup route took him to many Amish dairy farms, where he became known as the quiet milkman. Last October he suddenly lost all reason and control. In his tormented mind he blamed God for the death of his first child and some unsubstantiated memories. He stormed into the Amish school without any provocation, released the boys and adults, and tied up the 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own life.
This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman’s suffering family. As the milkman’s family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, “We will forgive you.” Amish leaders visited the milkman’s wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman’s funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman’s family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.
One local resident very eloquently summed up the aftermath of this tragedy when he said, “We were all speaking the same language, and not just English, but a language of caring, a language of community, [and] a language of service. And, yes, a language of forgiveness.” It was an amazing outpouring of their complete faith in the Lord’s teachings in the Sermon on the Mount: “Do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.”
The family of the milkman who killed the five girls released the following statement to the public:
“To our Amish friends, neighbors, and local community:
“Our family wants each of you to know that we are overwhelmed by the forgiveness, grace, and mercy that you’ve extended to us. Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. The prayers, flowers, cards, and gifts you’ve given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.
“Please know that our hearts have been broken by all that has happened. We are filled with sorrow for all of our Amish neighbors whom we have loved and continue to love. We know that there are many hard days ahead for all the families who lost loved ones, and so we will continue to put our hope and trust in the God of all comfort, as we all seek to rebuild our lives.”
How could the whole Amish group manifest such an expression of forgiveness? It was because of their faith in God and trust in His word, which is part of their inner beings. They see themselves as disciples of Christ and want to follow His example.
Hearing of this tragedy, many people sent money to the Amish to pay for the health care of the five surviving girls and for the burial expenses of the five who were killed. As a further demonstration of their discipleship, the Amish decided to share some of the money with the widow of the milkman and her three children because they too were victims of this terrible tragedy.
Forgiveness is not always instantaneous as it was with the Amish. When innocent children have been molested or killed, most of us do not think first about forgiveness. Our natural response is anger. We may even feel justified in wanting to “get even” with anyone who inflicts injury on us or our family.
Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships:
“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.

We feel that forgiveness is one of the supreme acts of love. May we each seek it and give it to those around us.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I needed this today... My ex husband is getting re-married. Thank You.

Anonymous said...

Forgiveness. One of Bryce's best traits. When my first blog was hit hard by these same people, I was hurt, angry and confused. Who would maliciously attack somebody who was suffering through cancer, let alone his family? And now, just one day after the funeral of my young husband, the same opportunists strike. Instead of feeling hurt, I remembered the wonderful events that took place last time. Matt, then a mere acquaintance, offered to create a better, more secure website for me. As a result, Matt and his family have become some of my closest friends. Matt spent a lot of time working on the site and coming to our home to visit Bryce. Several times, Matt was present when Bryce needed immediate help which my strength alone could not provide. The website has allowed me to journal the events of Bryce's 100 days, while meeting wonderful new friends along the way. Were it not for a group of people who decided to be mean-spirited and bigoted, I would not have been so blessed. To them, I say THANK YOU. My faith in humanity, the Lord, and friendship was increased exponentially because of that seemingly senseless act. Blessings come in many forms. Who would have guessed?

Katie said...

So yesterday I reached out to a co-worker who normally drives me bonkers. She just stands at my desk and stares at me while I work, which usually just drives me nuts! Yesterday, I just talked to her, and not about that strange habit she has. I told her I hoped her husband was recovering well from his surgery, and then she opened up to me. She is older, and is taking care of her husband after back surgery, and still comes into work for a few hours most days, but always puts in a full day's work at home too. I began to admire her, and my heart was softened toward her, and thought she probably just wanted to talk to someone who wasn't on high dose pain killers.
Today I will try to forgive those who have caused me grief and sorrow in my life. I think it's time to let go of some stupid grudges. Here goes...

gunnfam said...

Forgiveness is something that requires thought, especially when we are angry at nothing. This is when it hurts ourselves and those around us. Thank you for posting about forgiveness, as we need to remember to do it often, even for ourselves. (darn that post-partum elephant in the room!)

Jenn said...

Thank you! I came across this story from a friend of mine and I have been on a "growth" high for a long time trying to become a better person and more the person I want to be. I thought the other day about my obituary and if I had died today would it say all the things I want it to, would I accomplish the things I want to be known for. The things mentioned on this blog are those things! I love the idea you are incorperating here! I'll be following along! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I teach at a high school and I have been truly inspired by the life of Tammy and Bryce. I chose to take on the challenge put forth by Tammy and now this website. Today at school I explained to my students the danger of the sun and tanning beds to continue in Tammy's fight and then I told them about the 100 days of Love. After I explained it, I asked them to join me in the challenge. I found that today's classes were so much better than usual as the students were less critical of each other. In just one day I saw how fast love can spread. And that's saying something when it comes to high school kids!

Anonymous said...

Some friends of mine started a 100 day challenge similar to this over the summer. They challenged their friends and family to take on a goal and work on it every day for 100 days. Their blog is http://next100days.blogspot.com if you are interested in seeing their perspective on this idea. I love it, and have had, and heard about, some wonderful experiences from it!

Anonymous said...

Today my husband, for the umpteenth time, put the spoons upside down in the flatware holder which he knows drives me up a wall. Usually I would have said something sarcastic but today I merely turned them around, smiled, and closed the drawer thinking how lucky I am that he's here to make me crazy. Such a small and petty thing but it felt so good to take a deep breath and put it into perspective, to realize that in the grand scheme of life, does it really matter if the spoons are upside down? Thank you for making me stop to really think about what's important.