Day 62--Presence

We have just come through a season of giving presents to those who are special to us. Another wonderful gift we can give them is "presence". The best gift you can give anyone is your own presence, your willingness to be fully present for a family member, friend, child, or individuals around you. That means to not be distracted or simply dutiful in listening, but to be sincerely interested in what they are saying. It means to live in the here and now--be present. Not to be thinking about something else, or what you might say next. We reaffirm others (and ourselves) when we give them attention and importance. Look in someone's eyes and enjoy the time with them! Give them your presence!

Day 61--Conversation

Sometimes with our world of technology, we have neglected simple conversations with each other. Text messaging, emails, playing with our computers, watching TV, etc. have taken the place of families and friends just sitting around and having good conversations. Our most meaningful connections can be made through personal conversations. Last night we turned off the TV and sat and talked. We got out some old photo albums and laughed about times from the past. We talked for over 2 hours and the time just flew by! Sharing our thoughts, listening to others, exploring events and feelings are wonderful ways to connect. A wonderful gift we can give each other is to simply give the time to have a personal conversation. Find out how great it is for you!

Day 60--Memories

Today is the 50th Anniversary of some of our good friends. We have known them for 27 years now and have watched their family grow up. When we think about our lives, we are enriched by thinking back about the many experiences we have had. One of the difficult things about moving or changing is that we don't have memories and past experiences with the people, and it's not as fun to relate to others when we don't have background. One of my favorite things about the Christmas season is the opportunity we have to "catch up" with friends and family that we don't regularly get to see. I love the newsletters from families--whether by mail or email. It's a great time at the end of the year to reflect about our memories of the past year and see our growth. Enjoy some time this weekend reflecting (and maybe even writing) about your memories of 2007. It will be wonderful to have something to remember as the years go on.

Day 59 - Family

Some of the most important people to love in our lives are our families. No matter how hard we may try sometimes to separate from them, they remain our family. Our families can be some of the most important relationships in our lives. Even when friends go away, our families are often still there. These relationships must be fostered and strengthened. What an important area to increase our love. This may be through a phone call, a card/letter, a visit, or any other way you can think of that might improve the relationship. When all is said and done, it will not matter what you have accomplished in life, but the strength of your relationships. The strength in your relationships will be determined by the measure of love within them.

Day 58 - Laugh

An important lesson to learn in life is to laugh. There are so many times when we become frustrated, tired, annoyed, or whatever else we may feel. At these times these emotions make it so difficult to be loving. Yet we can diffuse those feelings and situations by allowing ourselves to laugh. This is one thing that I am still trying to learn, and yet the times when I have been able to laugh I have felt so much better and have been more ready to love. Lets overcome the stress with laughter.

Day 57 - The Ultimate Gift

Today we watched a movie called The Ultimate Gift. It gives a wonderful perspective about the ways that we really grow. A grandfather gives his grandson some gifts to help him learn--and earn his inheritance. He gets the gifts of work, value of money, friends, laughter, problems, gratitude, dreams, gift of a day, and others. We often want our days to be happy and carefree. But those aren't the times we learn the most. Out of our problems can grow our deepest insights. Out of our efforts will we find our greatest rewards. It is wonderful to have these days to have some fun times with our family. We give them wonderful gifts by spending time sharing, laughing, and just being together. We are enjoying just this time to BE with each other. What wonderful gifts we can give.

Day 56 - Ultimate Love

Today we celebrate one of the ultimate expressions of love. A Father's gift to all of his children. Within this gift is another marvelous gift. Complete surrender to the Father's will enabling all of us to overcome sin and be made clean, thus enabling us to return to our Father's presence. How grateful I am for this gift and the example set on the full expression of love.

Day 55 - Laced with Love

"When love and skill work together expect a masterpiece."
John Ruskin

This is a wonderful season for giving gifts. I know for me it is easy to get into the habit of just making sure I have gotten a gift for each person on my list. However, I find that my gifts go so much further and mean so much more when they come straight from my heart and are laced with love. That is the joy of giving.

Day 54 - Talent

Day 53 - Free Rice

Today my dad showed me a cool website that provides a fun way to give. It is www.freerice.com. Not only does it help you to improve your vocabulary, but it provides rice to third world countries. Jump on this site and give as much rice as you can.

Day 52 - Believe

I believe in Santa. During the last few days, I have been able to be a part of delivering food, gifts and cash to families who have been having hard times. I am in a position that others have brought these items to me and wanted me to give them anonmyously to others. The recipients have been very humble and grateful. One lady just cried and hugged me. I had one "giver" tell me that they wanted to make sure some of their friends had money for Christmas, but didn't want their friendship to change. So she gave me a check to cash for this other family. Somehow the magic of Christmas is still happening for me. I believe. People care about each other. It is blessed to give. It is humbling to receive. I'm grateful for the magic of this season.

Day 51 - Build Up (Not put down)

I have noticed in my life that although I notice the good and the not so good traits of others, I am more inclined to point out the not so good. In the long run, this does not do any good, even if my intention is to help the other person understand what they can improve on. All of us need to know what we are doing good to feel some satisfaction that our lives are worthwhile. I am a firm believer that if we consistently point out and recognize the things that people do well they will increase that behavior. Beyond that, they will feel respect, importance, and love. Lets build up those around us by pointing out the things they do well.

Day 50 - Share

It's interesting that this is something we try so hard to teach our children, but somehow the concept is completely lost on us. It's almost as if we think that since we "earned" our things that they really are "mine." Sometimes we are just simply childish. For example, sometimes after I have made a sandwich for myself my wife will come and steal a bite. And for some silly reason I let this bother me. If I really understood the concept of sharing, I would be happy to share a bite of my sandwich, and would have even offered if she wanted some. There is something inherently loving about sharing.

We are now halfway through the 100 days. It has been an interesting learning experience so far for me. Please, all of you, share your thoughts, ideas, and experiences with us. You have no idea how much this helps us to continue with our motivation to be more loving people. You can either leave a comment, or email us at 100daysoflove@gmail.com.

Day 49 - A Precious Human Life

Several weeks ago, a comment was left on this blog on something one of you did to help increase love. I have printed it, and posted it inside my shower, and I read it every morning. It is a wonderful way to get my day started. Thank you for sharing it with me, and I hope you will all gain a benefit from it as well.

A Precious Human Life

Everyday, think as you wake up:
Today I am fortunate
to have woken up.
I am alive;
I have a precious human life.
I am not going to waste it.
I am going to use
all my energies to develop myself,
to expand my heart out to others,
to achieve enlightenment for
the benefit of all beings.
I am going to have
kind thoughts towards others.
I am not going to get angry,
or think badly about others.
I am going to benefit others
as much as I can.

-His Holiness the XIV Dali Lama

Day 48 - Love Your Enemies

It is easy to love those who love you in return. The real challenge is to love those whom you feel have wronged you. I ordered a Christmas gift recently through an online company that originally appeared to be pretty decent. It turns out it was a bait and switch operation and managed to con me out of some money. My wife and I were really stressed out for awhile due to tight finances, and just feeling lied to. This lingering feeling of anger was really affecting my day to day life, and I did not like the way it felt. I tried to do things for others, which helped, but my mind would return to this "transaction" and some of those feelings would resurface. So I recognized I needed to have a change of heart to make this go away. I began to pray for the people I felt were so dishonest. Gradually, the bitterness I felt went away, and I was able to be more at peace with the past. I hope during this season and beyond we can all strive to have love in our hearts for the ones we may call our enemies.

Day 47 - Recieving is Giving

Really? Yet another paradox. This time of year is the best time to really understand and learn from giving and recieving. There are two extremes to recieving. One extreme is the person who demands all and gives nothing. The other extreme is one who is unwilling to recieve. Both extremes are characterized by selfishness. During this season, make room in your heart to recieve the goodness that others may want to give. Giving helps both the giver and the reciever to make place for greater love. Recieving with love can also be a gift.

Day 46- Giving is Getting

Giving is Getting. Is this a cliche? The salvation army gives, the food shelter gives, Toys for Tots give. They give money, food and toys gathered during the season, but most of all they give us a chance to get over ourselves. The opportunity to give is a gift in itself, the opportunity to become something better. The other day a man approached me for some change to buy some gas. I gave him some money, grateful for the opportunity to have exercised some generosity. It was actually a little selfish on my part. I needed him to become a little bit better, a little bit kinder. It really is a paradox and a cliche at the same time.

Day 45 - Be an Idealist

Today I am stealing the words of Tammy, not only because they are so eloquent, but because they are so inspiring as well. I hope we can all learn from her lessons.

"Tragedy, especially of such magnitude, has altered my perception of every aspect of life. Something that would have ruined my day a year ago is inconsequential to me now. Heavy traffic? Big deal. Flat tire? It happens. Get in a fight? So—grow up and make up. Did somebody say something to you that wasn’t loud enough for you to hear? You better not have yelled at them to speak up. Somebody made a mistake at work which cost you a few minutes? Then fix it—and I really hope you didn’t ruin the other person’s day out of the spirit of selfish retaliation! Yes, I realize this sounds Pollyanna-ish. I only hope I can hang onto this attitude, because life is much too short to be controlled by anger and stress. I’m becoming an idealist."

Day 44 - Expressions of Gratitude

Maybe this is a repeat of a past post, but it is such an important part of love it deserves to be highlighted again. My life has been really stressful lately, and many things have happened which have been frustrating and disheartening. My wife has stepped up and helped me with far more than her fair share lately. I am deeply grateful for the wonderful, loving, selfless, and responsible person she is to me. She is patient when she needs to be, and understanding. I am striving to express my gratitude to her for all that she has done for me the past couple weeks. Lets all make sure to express gratitude to all those around us who make our lives easier and more full of love.

Day 43 - Give

Yesterday I wanted to show appreciation to a family in our neighborhood who is wonderful example of faith, love, and humility. Three members of the family of six currently have cancer. Two of those are the parents. A couple of teenagers in the neighborhood and I made a simple little Christmas ornament to show our gratitude. When we gave this simple gift to them they gave each one of us a tin of cookies to say thank you and Merry Christmas. They proceeded to inspire us by showing their selflessness. One of the teens I was with is going in for surgery today, and they told him they would make dinner for his family. They then offered to bring dinner to the rest of our families. I know this family is struggling financially as they have many expensive treatments for all their cancer. Yet they continue to give and have the most beautiful attitude.

Lets all learn to really give. Giving is more than gifts, it is an attitude, one that is tangibly felt by the receiver.

Day 42 - Apologize

Often, many of us have unintentionally hurt those around us. We can never be sure the effect of the things we do on others. I work with people everyday who struggle with their relationships and have hurt their most important relationships. Even as I evaluate my daily life I can find some way I may have offended or hurt someone. These things happen no matter how hard we are trying to be loving. A measure of our love is how we respond to our offenses to others. I notice that when I genuinely am sorry for the things I do or say, and express that to others in a heart felt apology, it does wonders to mend the offenses that may have been made.

Take the time to make the apologies that need to be made in your life. This may be small things that happen each day, or the larger ones that have been left unsaid in the past. We never know how much longer we have to actually make those amends... let's not gamble with that time.

Day 41 - Quality Time

This weekend I learned some important lessons about love. I am really busy at this time studying for tests and writing papers. I wanted to get as much done during the weekend to ease the stress of the rest of the week. It snowed most of the day on Saturday and left a beautiful white blanket all over the yard. Snow has always been an exciting thing for me, so I took the challenge of altering routine to heart. I got my wife and son, bundled all up, and went and played in the snow. It was the first real snow for my son, and he enjoyed being outside with his mom and dad. We built a huge snowman together and laughed and had fun together. It was a wonderful time. I felt a little bad though, because I didn't do much of the work I had planned. However, as I thought about it longer, I realized that in 5 years from now, those papers and tests are not going to mean much, but the quality time that I spent with my family will mean the world.

Lets all remember how important quality time is to the people we love. Keep the future perspective in mind and use the time we have to strengthen our relationships.

Day 40 - Discipline

To go along with yesterday's challenge, I realize that love takes discipline. Any change of behavior does. Genuine love requires consistancy. It is the unwavering, non-judgemental, persistant love that sinks deeply into a person's heart. There are times in our lives when we do not feel to love, I experience it often. Yet these are the times when we must discipline ourselves to push forward with love and care despite our mood. Often we spend time worrying about our own needs, this is when we must exercise our discipline to think of the needs of others. Love is an action word, and action requires discipline. Let's all increase this quality of love in our lives.

Day 39 - Routine?

I have been thinking a lot about what I have been learning from the 100 days of love. I keep wondering if I have really made any lasting changes in my own life. Sometimes I worry that I haven't. I pondered this for most of the day yesterday, and I have come to the conclusion that it is difficult to break out of the routines of life. It really takes a mental shift to change behaviors, however, if that shift only stays mental, less is accomplished. I don't go out of my way as much to love others, simply because I am stuck in the routine and business of my life right now. I am going to make a stronger effort do do something different in my behavior each day to break out of routine and start a newer routine of love. We challenge you to do the same.

Day 38 - Bear One Anothers Burdens

I am constantly amazed at the incredible displays of love during the holiday season. It seems that many people have made traditions to find people they can help to alleviate the stress that is all too common at this time. There are many people who have lost their jobs, gotten sick, or have had financial burdens haunt them. And each year, around this time, I see others turn their hearts out and serve. Love that fills needs and lifts burdens is so powerful. I thank those who are so keenly in tune or aware to those in need and extend your love and service to them. Even when that burden is not mine, witnessing these things brings love into my heart and life. Lets start and continue to traditions of this season to bear one anothers burdens.

Day 37 - Too Busy?

It is easy for our lives to get so busy that it doesn't seem like we have time for anything else. However, sometimes love only takes a couple of extra minutes. We may need to "sacrifice" something good for something better. Yesterday I was very busy with writing term papers that are due today. I was very eager to get them done, and I didn't have a lot of time to do them. However, I really love my wife, and I want to make sure that she knows that. So I took some time out to clean up the kitchen and mop the floor while she was at work. Those few extra minutes away from what was really important were well worth the sacrifice as I heard her excited voice when she walked in from work.

Let us all remember that we are never too busy to love.

Day 36 - Notice

Yesterday I had a really long, hard day. I had gone a couple days with just a little sleep. I had fallen asleep in the evening, and my wife let me sleep and got several things done around the house without waking me. She was sensitive to my needs and did not complain about the extra work. I am thankful for the love she so subtly showed me.

Every day people do loving things for us. Most of the time we fail to notice the things they do. Sometimes this is because we are busy, tired, distracted, or simply oblivious. It is easy to gain the attitude that others may not care or that others are selfish. However, that is simply because our peceptions are tainted. Just like with normal sunglasses, we cannot see through the glare on the water or glass, we miss what is there because we are not able to see what is deeper. Lets put on our polarized lenses to see the bountious love others show to us.

Day 35 - Awareness

We are in a season that sadly can magnify stress and distress for many people. It is a time where parents may worry if they can provide for their children and bring happiness to them. How important it is to be aware of the people around us who are struggling and in need. As we become aware of the needs we can do more to bring love into their lives as we serve them. Filling their needs is a powerful way to show love and to change lives.

Lets do what we can to focus our attention out of our own little worlds and be aware of the many needs that surround us each day, spoken or unspoken.

Day 34 - Priorities

How often do we find ourselves giving the most attention to the things that are lower on our list of priorities? Does the TV show take presidence over spending quality time with a spouse or friend? Do we allow the "things" in our life more attention than the relationships? If we carefully analyzed our lives we might be surprised to see how out of whack our priorities may have become. As we strive to increase our love lets make sure that we give the most love to our top priorities.

Day 33 - Don't Let The Man Get You Down

It seems like, during the season that we should love the most, we also feel the most stress. Examples of this can be, shopping for everyone, insane holiday traffic, parents getting into brawls over the last Transformers toy, and waiting on hold for 10 minutes only to be cut off at the end. Anger happens, but we don't have to let it fester. Replace it with something happy. Remember, lovers take the high road. This is supposed to be a joyous season, a peaceful season, a loving season. This is a great time to start a new tradion, to reach out and really serve others. Pretty soon, you'll forget all that stress and you'll be singing too.

Everyone that reads this: Take some food/coats/etc. to your local food bank to help those less fortunate this season.

Day 32 - Humility

A major blocker to genuine love is putting one's self as greater than others. Sometimes it may seem that the way to make ourselves seem better is to point out how we did something better than the next person. However, what purpose does this serve? Simply to extinguish the love that may have previously existed in our heart.

I see many people mistakenly assume that in order to be humble they have to point out their own flaws or even disregard complements and praise of others. This too is a block to love. Humility is not thinking less of one's self, it is just thinking more of others. It is the willingness to recognize the good in others without having to contrast it against one's self. Others can be good and worthwhile independent of how you feel about yourself, good or bad.

Let us each strive to have a more humble heart and notice and acknowledge the good in others. Lets stop minimizing the accomplishments of others to make ourselves feel better in some ways. You may be surprised at the love that fills your heart and mind as you do this.